Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Poly, What A Cracker....
It is ok not to know
Until we do
When we know better
we do better'
As we feel
(or see or know)
something is just Not right for us
The event or space or person
(or simply a combination of random swirling energy)
is manipulative or stuck or masking or simply misaligned
with Our Gut, our internal radar
This was once called intuition
(and witches were killed for it...)
It's root and base is now "proven" to Be
In Our Poly Vagal nerve
Once this massive nerve
uploads BILLION of bytes of incoming data
We are said to make a conscious choice.
We are trusting this known and explicit,
conscious and intentional feedback
and flowing with the combined super computer
(aka wisdom or lived experience)
That "intuition" is a combination of
our gut, our nerve and our core values
from many past life experiences.
As we tune into this ever increasing
and expanding repertoire of subtle layers
we hear a minute change in pitch, an inflection in a word, or an extended silence
or see a grinning eye inflection or sudden furtive glance
of feel the subtle cheek kissed wind salt cool of dusk start to rise
or sense a mother fucking get the hell out clear and present danger
We listen deeply whih means subtly with all our heightened senses
We choose, in that moment to
Run, Remove, reduce or
possibly freeze or fight.
This is our full nervous system functioning well.
We are in a fully switched on, a flow state, receptive
Alert not alarmed,
aware of all the data arriving in and on our body
This is a well toned poly vagal nerve
Our Open channel, our inner science radar
The Body,
and one very specific part of the body
Our Largest nerve,
our biggest computer chip,
our core rage
our inner values
our back catalogue of lived experiences
supplying appropraite aligned feedback
In The Now, of right Now,
on It's Super Conductor High Way.
If too much ancient gunk has fouled the flow
If Too many old shitty blockages remain in our nerve bowel
If too many penny dreadful Poor books are still on the shelves
We may not actually feel or hear or see The Current Flow
and our body, our journey, our choices, become confused or misaligned
the unconscious shite may dominate
Is that a now response of the now?
Cool, calm, measured or hot, fiery and protective,
all perfectly Ok if appropriate to the energy being currently received and felt
Or was that then, a past conditioning, a past event, a past trauma
leading my slow, staid, stuck reaction?
To have your wits about you, firing on all cylinders
To be grounded, rich and base and earthy
To have your mojo on, flowing like a river
To be floating through your day, airy, lightly and freely
To be present to your Full Range of A Subtle Self
Means You Are fully feeling
In and as and of a full spectrum life
You are an open cleansed channel
(no past shit left to throw or stick...)
that simply feels alive.
Thank you Poly vagal nerve
for opening up
for being better able to receive and serve
for discerning the ever more subtle
for coming home
for tuning in,
for flowing and trusting my gut
for letting me feel fully alive again.
If yu don't yet know and love your poly vagal
nerve
I suggest you take it out and cleanse it
give it an enema, get rid of the old shit
reconnect the pathways to Now
and start living a fresh New life
Because when
we know better
we feel better
and do better.
And life simply is Better
without yours, or someone else's
crusty welded on old script life barnacles.
Freshen up and
Give a Shit Today.
Your new poly will love youuuuu!!1
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
Home, Up From Below, Naturally.
"What happens if you know that there is nothing
you can do to be better?
It's kind of a relief isn't it?
You say 'Well, now what do I do?'
When you are freed from being out to improve yourself,
"She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in her eyes."
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Sufi Wisdom. As The Strong Gentle Heart Turns.
Excerpted from the forthcoming A Healing Space:
Befriending Yourself in Difficult Times (Sounds True, 2020)
by Matt Licata
"Increased awareness is critical and necessary, but for most it is not enough to shift the intergenerational trances of habitual consciousness. Many of us have quite a lot of insight into our embedded patterns and “know” what we need to do to heal, to awaken, to transform. But despite all this “knowing,” fundamental change can remain elusive.
At some point it may be only a turning of the heart which has the power and beauty and poetic impact to soothe the cosmic exhaustion, wounds, and pain of an unlived life, where love is revealed to be the ultimate medicine that can penetrate the deepest layers of our conditioning and felt sense of separation.
What this “turning of the heart” means in lived, embodied experience for each of us must be discovered in the fire of our own lives. To open to our pain, grief, and longing and allow the allies to reveal themselves requires that we work not only at the level of clear-seeing, but also with deep feeling and honoring of the psyche and soul, including a new valuing of our sensitivities, eccentricities, and unique symptoms.
The ancient alchemists were great models of this as the relationship they had with their materials with was akin to a love affair. It was hot and intimate and alive. It was painful, heartbreaking, chaotic, and glorious. They allowed the material to matter to them. They loved the minerals and vessels and fires and related to them as living beings that they loved. For them there was no solid dividing line between matter and spirit.
These are all metaphors for how we might tend to our own inner experience, the “matter” of our thoughts, feelings, and sensations, practicing intimacy with the emotional world and the varied experiences that come to us as we commit to the alchemical opus of our own lives."
"Increased awareness is critical and necessary, but for most it is not enough to shift the intergenerational trances of habitual consciousness. Many of us have quite a lot of insight into our embedded patterns and “know” what we need to do to heal, to awaken, to transform. But despite all this “knowing,” fundamental change can remain elusive.
At some point it may be only a turning of the heart which has the power and beauty and poetic impact to soothe the cosmic exhaustion, wounds, and pain of an unlived life, where love is revealed to be the ultimate medicine that can penetrate the deepest layers of our conditioning and felt sense of separation.
What this “turning of the heart” means in lived, embodied experience for each of us must be discovered in the fire of our own lives. To open to our pain, grief, and longing and allow the allies to reveal themselves requires that we work not only at the level of clear-seeing, but also with deep feeling and honoring of the psyche and soul, including a new valuing of our sensitivities, eccentricities, and unique symptoms.
The ancient alchemists were great models of this as the relationship they had with their materials with was akin to a love affair. It was hot and intimate and alive. It was painful, heartbreaking, chaotic, and glorious. They allowed the material to matter to them. They loved the minerals and vessels and fires and related to them as living beings that they loved. For them there was no solid dividing line between matter and spirit.
These are all metaphors for how we might tend to our own inner experience, the “matter” of our thoughts, feelings, and sensations, practicing intimacy with the emotional world and the varied experiences that come to us as we commit to the alchemical opus of our own lives."
Friday, August 22, 2014
The Path Home Is Everywhere
It’s simple to love unconditionally when we are unattached to how things should be.
That’s why the Universe rewards us with flow when we remove our attachments
to outcomes, to how things should play out or look like,
so that we can simply share love more freely.
Remain open to each bare moment and ask,
"What would Love Do?"
And remember,
Love is Fiercely Self Compassionate,
firstly.
Whilst exploring, processing, feeling, allowing and embracing my own deep, dark, yucky painful feelings over the years, I’ve had people tell me, advise me, warn me, that I’m too sensitive, too deep, too negative, too emotional, too "trapped in ego"; that I’m troubled, broken, un-enlightened, sick, even mentally ill. Yes, I regard the 17 months I spent in those institutions as a wonderful time of growth and healing. I remain grateful to those who have either worked in or have walked that path.
I do understand our collective fear of raw emotion, our need to flee the darkness and “seek the light”!
Yet I discovered, by coming close to death through multliple suicide attempts and finding only more life, there is really nothing to fear.
There is no darkness, no “negativity”, when you truly face what’s hurting inside.
On occasion, when I’ve been in jokey, lighthearted and creative moods, in touch with the absurdity and comedy and silliness and art of life, I’ve had people tell me that I’m not deep enough, not spiritual enough, not serious enough; that I’m using humour as a defence and my joy is fake and only a facade. I enjoy laughing my arse off. loudly, and totally get The Great Cosmic Joke. This was not always the case.
Of course I understand the distrust of those who cannot access their own joyful inner child, the artist within. Those who have been conditioned to stuff the joy of living down.
I once was one Of them. For far too long.
But I came to see, we ALL need access to that beautifully spontaneous and free and wild one.
My inner child destroyed me and saved me. I love tiny Tony for showing me, me.
We all need to laugh outrageoulsy at ourselves sometimes. I do it now, daily.
In the past, when I’ve set boundaries, said no, drawn a line around what‘s okay for me and thereby defined what is not okay, I’ve had people tell me that I’m afraid, that I’m running from intimacy, emotionally immature; that I’m traumatised, in need of help, relationally damaged and that boundaries aren’t real.
I understand the dislike of boundaries! It’s hard to hear “no” from someone.
Remember, boundaries are soft landing spots, for your own self care, not armoured prison walls to lock others out. Harsh reactions or passive aggressive silence to you setting self care boundaries simply shows where their respect for you ends.
I have been helped to understand, through being on the receiving end of powerful and honest and loving No’s over the years, that love should say No. We simply listen to the why.
I would rather take the short term pain of respectful honesty than the deeper and chronic pain of resentment and simmering rage which I also lived through in a past 28 year relationship.
Even our deepest feelings of rejection and abandonment and “not good enough” can be flushed with understanding and compassion. Watch how people react to your No's too. If there is anger or rage, you have probably said no to something toxic anyway.
Boundaries can help us heal, and even bring us closer.
So yes, I’ve been called cold, robotic, inhuman, detached, narcissistic, aloof when I haven’t been able or willing to meet another’s needs. When their energy feels like it's drowning me. When they have further to ground and descend into them Self. Let other's own their unhealed projections. Fully. With Love.
I understand the crushing (and often unconscious!) disappointment when our wants or needs aren’t satisfied by another.
Disappointment, disillusionment and despair have truly been my greatest teachers. I embrace them as close allies. The Path is Everywhere.
When I’ve walked my path, followed my heart - not always knowing where it would lead me - and broken away from what was expected or demanded of me, and stepped out of my fearful childhood conditioning, I’ve been called selfish, reckless, an abandoner, doomed to ridicule and ultimate failure
Thank you abusive religious high school, thank you ancient biggoted and racist family of origin wounds, thank you inter generational DNA epigenetics.
I know the courage it takes to walk one’s own unique path, and the (often unconscious) jealousy, fear, longing and even rage our freedom can trigger in others who have not yet found their own courage. Freedom to Be (Me) is The Highest Calling and why controllers can still trigger my buttons. And that's Ok as I Thank them for their reminders of who I Am and the virtues I hold dear.
I understand the terror of creative and personal freedom, and the longing for it, and how states of jealousy and envy can be so very hard to digest or even tolerate.
It is certainly easier to judge another than take full responsibility for ourselves.
Atma Gnanam, Absolute Bliss and Love as Moksha, has been my kindest teacher. Liberation is here now, if you so choose. If a problem remains, you are it.
From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank every single one of my ‘critics’ over the years (including my own inner ‘critic’, perhaps the loudest voice of them all!).
You were all right, from your own perspective.
You shook me, broke me, awakened and healed me, closed me and opened me and brought me to the edge.
You tested my resolve and forced me to get closer and closer to my raw and honest truth.
Of who I Am...
You have all been my gurus, whether you know it or not.
And I thank you for The Love.
Labels:
atmagnanam,
gratitude
Thursday, July 17, 2014
I Know No Thing...
What opens inside you when you're willing to entertain the possibility that things maybe different than you thought they were is what I call the great internal space; a place where you come to know that you don't know.
This is really the entry point into the end of suffering: when you become conscious of the fact that you really don't know.
I mean that you don't really know anything - that you really don't understand the world, you don't really understand each other, and you... really don't understand yourself.
This is such an obvious thing when we really take a moment and look around.
When you look at the world that human beings have created and how we relate to each other, it's so obvious that we don't know anything at all.
.
Everybody's going around pretending like they really know things, pretending like they know what's real and what's not, pretending they know what's right, pretending they know who's wrong, but actually nobody really knows.
But this is something we are afraid of.
We don't really want to admit that nobody really knows.
Adyashanti
Friday, June 13, 2014
Just. Stop. It.
Although the mind can identify with all kinds of socially contrived thought structures and accompanying emotions they have no basis in reality.
The only reality is reality itself, the power of this cosmos that is arising through the heart as the whole body.
Reality that brought you here in the first place is presently nurturing you.
It is you.
Body and mind arise in and as reality itself.
Both mind and body are functioning in a unitary movement as vast relatedness in the intrinsic harmonies of the cosmos.
Mind and body are only for relatedness, the heart’s action.
If there seems to be any restriction to this or identification with imagined limit of thought structure humanity evolved of Direct Participation in the Given reality.
These any body can do, adapted appropriately to individual needs, age, health and cultural background.
thank you @brucam108
Labels:
corevalues,
juststopit,
lmfao,
patterns,
therapy
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
I Flow, I Am
I Flow, I Am as
Enchanted Nature
Inner and Out
More Life
Breathes an Imperfect Truth
Of Loving,
Not Needing or Knowing
Why or How
Simply Creative often Wordless,
feeling alive in Loving This
Uncertain Journey
I Am Love
In our Presence
Feeling fully This Mother
Nature.
Thank you T and M, twice.
Labels:
connection,
gaia,
poetry
Location:
Wallingat NSW 2428, Australia
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Atma Gnanam
Freedom To Be, Your Own True Nature.
Atma Gnanam is profoundly simple, although, of course, not necessarily easy,
Atma Gnanam is not about acquiring more intellectual knowledge, it is about letting go.of cognitive beliefs and trusting the primal gut.
Atma Gnanam is ancient, absolute and profoundly simple.
Atma Gnanam is abiding in 'the mind of unknowing', embracing grounded uncertainty
Atma Gnanam is where what we need to know will then reveal itself to us.
Ego thrives on complexity and wants to keep adding more to itself,
Ego is the external hamster wheel of seeking, striving, reaching, repetitive doing or resisting, busy mindless consuming of "stuff", be it physical, emotional or spiritual.energy
Truth, atma gnanam, is as Simple as Radical Responsibilty.
"Do The Work. Dive Deep. Create Your Own True North". In Every Moment.
When we Let It In, Let It Be and Let It Go, we flow as open shape shifting channels.
When we live as The Path is Everywhere, we cease the reaching and enjoy the journey.
When we empty all and abide in No Thing, No Past, No Future, we allow Every Thing to Rise and Simply Be Present, Here Now.
If there is still a problem, we are it.
Karma serves us, us.
So Be Kind. Or Be Quiet.
Be The Pure Awareness of Self,
Be outrageously Innocent,
Be desireless in Love,
Be the Bliss, of joy, of happiness.
This is Atma Gnanam
It is not within
It is not in the mind.
It is not in the here after.
Atma Gnanam is and always has been our birthrite
And it is available to all, in this and each moment.
If you choose.
by Tony Searl
Sweet Bare Sun, I Rise To Meet You
Labels:
atmagnanam,
simple
Location:
North St, Forster NSW 2428, Australia
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